Had a dream that woke me up. It seems I was leaving some unknown friend’s house in some unknown neighborhood and heading home. As I drove away it wasn’t long until I was completely and utterly lost. As I turned down random streets and followed curved roads pretty soon I lost all sense of direction and found myself in a neighborhood that became increasingly shady. In my haste to find my way back to the familiar I began to drive faster and faster tailing the row of cars in front of me. I felt unsafe. But in my panic I didn’t care.
And then what I was almost expecting happened. The cars in front of me were coming to a sudden stop and I couldn’t adjust. I careened right into the back of the car ahead and set off a chain reaction of rear-enders involving 4 or 5 vehicles. As our cars came to a stop, I felt that sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. It’s that “I knew I was being reckless…I knew I wasn’t being wise…I knew I wasn’t at my best…and now I’m going to have to pay for it in a very costly way” feeling. Taking a moment to collect myself, I put my head down on the steering wheel and prepared to face the consequences.
But when I looked up, I was shocked to find that all the cars in front of me were driving away. They were damaged, but whether the drivers didn’t care or whether they were unwilling to get out of their cars in this unsafe neighborhood, they all drove away. I even noticed a police car across the street who pulled out and followed suit. Stunned, I began to inch my car down the road. My amazement turned to relief. How in the world did I get out of that one?
As I woke up I wondered, “Was this a dream about living in the city? Why was I lost in an unknown neighborhood? What is the significance of me causing a mass accident?”
But then it hit me just now. This was simply a dream about grace.
Maybe you are like me. You have extremely high expectations of yourself. You are your own worst critic. You expect yourself to be great at your job every day, give your best at all times, handle every situation maturely, and make every relational decision Jesus would make. There’s just one problem. You don’t. Not even close. And some minor or major fender-bender comes along often to remind you of your inadequacies.
I don’t know why we are so hard on ourselves at times. I would love to learn how to let my fender benders lead me more naturally to grace.